Buddy: My family likes your bug repellant.
Buddy: I got BOTH the pet-safe and the human versions.
Me: nice
Me: it makes me smell better 
...
Buddy: My 21 year old son is a roofer.  I think he took the human version and put it in his work bag.
Me: thief!
Buddy: Well....I let him actually.  I told my wife to use the pet version.
Buddy: Then I slept on the couch.
Me: The old wisdom says when a man gets married he needs to first build a good dog house, because he will be spending a lot of time there.
Buddy: Ain't that the truth!
Me: (hehehe)